Introducing the third author from our upcoming Sincere Forms of Flattery, writer, film critic and one half of ABC2′s The Bazura Project, Lee Zachariah. 

1. Describe yourself in three sentences. Each sentence can only contain six words. One of these sentences must contain alliteration.

Either a renaissance man or unfocused.

Am anable to ably attempt alliteration.

Thinks six-word sentences insufficient to

2. What in God’s name made you want to be a writer?

I was about three when I decided. It just seemed so obvious to me at the time, like I knew I’d never be able to do anything else, in the sense that I was both too passionate about writing and too incompetent at everything else. (To my credit, I insisted that if writing didn’t take off, I’d be willing to be an actor. Even at age three, I was concerned with job security.)

3. Literary protagonist you would most like to …

Have a beer with: The Ghost of Christmas Present

Share a bed with: Nora Charles

Travel with: Ford Prefect

Say ‘I love you’ to: Blue van Meer

4. Name a pet from literary history you would have liked to call your own.

Dogmatix.

5. What is the smartest thing anyone has ever said to you about being a writer?

There’s no such thing as “wanting to be a writer”. You either write or you don’t.

6. What is the dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about being a writer?

“Writer’s block doesn’t exist” or similar pronouncements that clearly apply to the person talking. Everyone’s approach, pitfalls, successes are different. Be wary of anyone who talks about their own method as if it’s definitive.

7. Where is your favourite place to write?

Somewhere new. When places become too familiar, they lose their inspiration for me. Nothing gets the brain going like new surroundings.

8. What will be on your tombstone?

“FEAGUING”. I played it in Scrabble the other day across two triple word scores, and got 167 points for that one shot alone. I was so happy, I announced that it would be on my tombstone, and now feel obligated to stick to the claim.

9. Favourite literary technique?

I do love a good foreshadowing. If done right, a foreshadowing tells you the ending without you even realising.

10. Favourite adjective?

“Impossible”. Usually, if something is described as “impossible”, it’s because it’s either just happened or it’s about to, and finding out how the impossible becomes possible is tremendously exciting. Or even impossibly exciting.

11. What one piece of advice can you share with other writers?

Just keep swimming. The difference between a brilliant successful writer and a brilliant unknown writer is fate and circumstance, so don’t sweat it.

12. What is your writing motto?

“This isn’t working. I should have gone to law school.”